Why English is so much fun!
1. We polish the Polish furniture.
2. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
3. A farm can produce produce.
4. The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
5. The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
6. The present is a good time to present the present.
7. At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
8. The dove dove into the bushes.
9. I did not object to the object.
10. The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
11. The bandage was wound around the wound.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19. I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22. I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt
An Italian who went to Detroit
One day I go to Detroit to a bigga hotel. In tha morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two piss's toast. She brings only one piss. I tella I wanna two piss. She says go to the toilet. I say "You no unnastand, I wanna two piss on my plate". She say "You better no piss on the plate, you somma ma bitch". I don't even know the lady and she called me a somma ma bitch.
Later, I go out to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tell I wanna fock. She tella me everyone wanna fock. I tella, "You no unnastand, I wanna fock on the table". She say, "you better not fock on the table, you somma ma bitch".
So I go back to my room in tha hotel and there is no shits ona my bed. I called the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tella me go to the toilet. I say "You no unnastand, I wanna shit ona the bed". He say "You better no shit on the bed, you somma ma bitch".
I go to the check out and the man at the desk say "Peace to you" and I say "Piss ona you too, YOU somma ma bitch. I qonna back to Italy".
Toy Yoda
Jodee Berry, 26, won a contest to see who could sell the most beer in April at the Hooters in Panama City Beach. She said the top-selling waitresses from each Hooters restaurant in the area were entered into a drawing and her name was picked. She believed she'd won a new car. She was blindfolded and led to the restaurant parking lot, but when her blindfold was removed she found she was the winner not of a Toyota, but a toy Yoda doll.
Happiness
Shortly after the end of WW II, in 1945, George VI and Queen Elizabeth (the future Queen Mom) received the Churchills for Dinner at Buckingham Palace with General De Gaulle and Madame, honoring the Free French movement.
As the Queen was chatting with Madame De Gaulle amicably and asking her how the years had been living in the shadow of a great man, Yvonne De Gaulle answered "It was not always easy, but the most important thing for me is that I could find a penis".
Dead silence fell on the table, everybody wondering if they had heard right, as an unapologetic madame De Gaulle insisted that "I believe it is the case for all women, everything can be endured as long as we have a penis..."
The silence became deafening for many, many seconds, until De Gaulle's characteristic voice rose: "My dear, he said, I believe et eez pronounced 'APpiness'..."
What is wrong here?
